Creating Connection

Once you have a woman attracted to you, it’s often not enough to get her to see you again. By not creating connection, she will just see you as the random cute guy who gave her validation one night. Some people feel that once she is attracted to you, this is the time to get the number, when she is at a high point. This way, it leaves her wanting more of you. I agree that you should leave at a high point, but remember that attractive women meet cute guys all the time. Sure, she may give you her number, but she is less likely to answer without creating connection. Most women are emotional creatures and make many of their decisions based on the current mood they’re in. By creating connection, you maintain that emotional bond you built inside of her longer than the one night you met her. She may be feeling great about you right now and after you leave she will think about you. Don’t forget though, she will continue to get hit on after you are gone. Any guy she talks to may change her emotional state. She may meet a guy who is an idiot, which is very likely to happen, and feel frustrated going home, not remembering you. Even if you are the last guy she sees before she leaves and goes home intrigued by you, she could wake up the next morning in a totally different state. You call her up the next day and leave a message on her phone. Now she thinks, “I met this guy at a club. He’s cute, but I don’t know. I don’t really know this guy. He’s a club guy. It was a fun night, but I don’t know. I don’t feel comfortable. I’ve got 7 other guys who I’m comfortable with and that I think are cute so maybe I’ll talk to them instead.” This is what typically happens when you aren’t creating connection. Before you get the number, and if you have the time for it, you must build and create connection with the woman you’re interested in the night you meet her. You don’t want her to be in the previous scenario. Don’t be the cute one night fling club guy when you’re looking for a great woman. Play solid game. You begin creating connection by first displaying your identity. This is done through storytelling packed with emotions. Tell her stories of your childhood, interesting times in your life, and anything that makes you who you are. In her mind, you need to be more than just the cute club guy. You are Dan, the aspiring actor. You’re Frank, the traveler of the world. You are John, the gifted intellect with a Ph.D. Here is an example on creating connection: I talk about how I traveled to Spain with an ex-girlfriend and caught an infection in my belly button that I almost died from. I also talk about the first moment I received a standing ovation at a show when I used to be a professional actor, or the story of my hippie kindergarten teacher back in Georgia that taught me how to be a tree hugger and love animals. As you tell your stories, allow her to relate, respond, and reciprocate with her own stories. This is creating connection. The more she talks, the more she emotionally invests in you, and the more you are creating connection. The harder a person works for something, the more they value it. Allow her to talk about herself. The next step in creating connection is to find similarities. Find subjects you have a common interest in with each other and talk about how you feel. People generally feel more connected and have rapport with people who share similarities. As you create connection, make the rapport get deeper and deeper. You may start with questions like: What was your first date like? Have you ever been to Europe? Eventually build it all the way up to more intimate questions such as: What was your best sexual experience like? Have you ever slept with a guy you met the same night? Progressively build the questions as you go. Don’t be afraid to go overboard when you are creating connection. Women like men who are bold, but do it in good taste. Women hate feeling disrespected, but they hate being bored even more. Creating connection is much deeper and takes more than a page of writing to fully understand. To understand how to create connection with women, sign up for dating coaching.
Your Matchmaker and Dating Coach,
Dan Silverman