Inner Game: Reframing Limiting Beliefs

October 10, 2017
Dan Silverman

When you approach a beautiful woman and you feel anxiety, it doesn't help to tell yourself that you are the prize and that you are a catch to women while you grit your teeth and clench your fists in fear. If you don't believe what you're saying, you won't ever improve. You can't just cover up your insecurities by lying to yourself and expect results. The only way positive self talk can work is if you destroy the negative belief that is causing your anxiety, fear, frustration, or any other negative emotion and reframing limiting beliefs. What is a limiting belief? It is a belief that is self defeating and not true at all times. Common negative limiting beliefs are “I am not good enough for a beautiful woman or I'm going to get rejected if I approach a woman.These beliefs cause you to feel approach anxiety and insecurity. To overcome these negative limiting beliefs, we must bash and reframe them. The process of bashing and reframing limiting beliefs is to disprove and turn them into positive perspectives. For example, let's say your negative limiting belief is, I'm not good looking enough to get an attractive woman. You would then reframe by ask yourself questions like these: Isn't it true that you have seen men who are much worse looking than you are with attractive women? Is it possible that an attractive woman has been attracted to you at one point in your life? Isn't it true that women place more value on personality than looks? Isn't it true that you have attractive qualities that at least one attractive woman could admire? After asking yourself these questions, your negative limiting belief should not have as much of a negative impact on you. Since you began reframing limiting beliefs and thinking about your attractive qualities that could attract a beautiful woman, you can use those qualities as proof of why you actually are the prize or why you are a catch to women. However, just reframing limiting beliefs is not enough. You have to find proof of your positive beliefs to be true. When you go out to meet women, find evidence to support your new beliefs. If you came up with a list of attractive qualities about yourself, think of them whenever a woman winks at you, asks your name, smiles at you, or shows interest. This will greatly increase your inner game. Stop reading and try this tonight! To learn more about how to improve your inner game by reframing limiting beliefs, check out my dating coaching packages.

Your Matchmaker and Dating Coach,
Dan Silverman

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